It's a duo of herring
Served on a bed of five warm focaccia
Accompanied by a glass of red - own vintage, of course.
The boy has talent
We need talent.
But does he have what it takes to go the distance?
Will he give it 110%?
It's an unusual act, what with the lepers and the demoniacs.
It's a 'no' from me, I'm afraid.
See how he washes those feet -
That shows grace, that does,
That shows style.
He's got the X-factor
That certain something, the cross factor.
It's all about the journey he's taking:
Can he collect enough stars? Eat bugs? Survive, in there?
Can he please come to the diary room?
We want to know what he's thinking....
We just want that little bit more.
Jesus, you are live at Golgotha: please do not swear.
Tell us, how does it feel? How do you feel, right now?
Tell us why you think you should stay?
It's the moment of truth...
Regrettably, Jesus, you have been fired:
Please leave the planet.
We'll be talking to you later, on the post-eviction show,
And again, in an exclusive
overheard by the News of the World.