Monday, July 24, 2006

Easy like Sunday Morning

I'm involved with planning the all-age worship at St Matts & Nats. During the summer school holidays we do a series in morning services, some of which are all-age events and some offer a choice of listening to a sermon or attending a workshop - this offers an activity based on the theme for anyone who would prefer a bit of cutting and sticking (or whatever) to normal church fodder. Come worship at the church of Saint (Blue) Peter, if you will. Yesterday kicked off the series on our mission links. Apart from the planning, I did the intercessions, and dragged my eldest daughter in for reading them. Unfortunately she is nasally challenged, thanks to the continuing high pollen count; so all her worbs cabe out a bit wrog. Also unfortunately (and no doubt due to the heat, along with the sleep deprivation we're all struggling with) the service leader got a bit muddled, and I had to invent a second part to the prayers on the spot. I usually love being creative under pressure, but was further hampered by the absence of a pen, and the presence of a daughter who hadn't got a clue what was going on. All good it just me, or does anyone else feel that the concept of a 'day of rest' is slipping away from them?

Relaxation was further hampered by the return of my dear husband, back from a folk festival and throwing up. Marvellous. Both girls had arranged seperate trips with friends to seperate cinemas, the youngest to see a 12A movie at an 8-year-old's BD party (Pirates of the Carribbean: so that's them sorted for nightmares for the week. Bill Nighy as a squid is enough to terrify anyone) and the eldest to see a PG (Stormbreaker, this time with Bill Nighy as Norman Tebbit, from what I could tell. Enough to give me nightmares). Eventually got back from all the ferrying around to find husband less green but more grey. Which went with the bathroom tiles better.

Roll on the holidays. Unfortunately we're not going to Kefalonia (Myrtos Bay, above), we went there in June; we're off for a cheapskate camp Up North instead. Still, chance to get out of the city heat is always good.

Monday, July 10, 2006

You can come out from behind the sofa...

Bit of a couch potato weekend, owing to me feeling rather under the weather (gasping for breath, more like!). The TV obliged by providing some serious entertainment - tennis, football and the main event, the last episode of Doctor Who. We have all thoroughly enjoyed this series, even though the kids watch it from the time-honoured positions of behind the sofa or under a blanket (or if feeling brave, through their fingers). Annie (who is 8) was almost inconsolable when the Doctor and Rose were separated in their own parallel worlds. It was a great storyline, even if a rip-off of the end of the Philip Pullman 'His Dark Materials' trilogy (good ideas deserve more than one airing!)
I have a habit of coming up with silly ditties whilst returning home from the school run. This one made it to paper. It was a response to the concerns of parents that Dr Who is too scary; and also the new moves by the health & safety council to lighten up a bit wrt playground safety, in order to let kids experience a little danger in a controlled environment. Which makes it sound more profound than it is. Really this sort of writing is just a way of putting off something more important.

You can come out from behind the sofa, children
We’ve made it safe for you to come and play
The bumps within the night have all been silenced
The devils, beasts and ghouls have gone away.

You can come out from behind the sofa, children
We’ve cleared the monsters underneath the beds
The bogeyman is working down in Woolworths
The Big Bad Wolf has gone and lost his head.

The Daleks have been flat-packed into storage
The Cybermen recycled into cans
The White Witch has been cryogenically frozen
Baloo has got the better of Shere Khan

You can come out from behind the sofa, children
The Hearty Queen’s been dealt a fatal blow
Voldermort’s been permanently spellbound
Cruella’s wearing fake fur, just for show

Jaws is all wired up and eating plankton
Darth Vadar has been forced to breathe his last
The Joker’s told his last joke to the Penguin
The Wicked Witch has melted down the pan.

You can come out from behind the sofa, children
The ghost of Christmas past’s faded to grey
Even Noddy’s got the better of those goblins
And Toytown’s now a nicer place to play.

Captain Hook is wearing woolly mittens
Smaug the dragon’s fires have been put out
The Demon Head is stuck doing detention
A hundred lines: ‘I will not scream and shout!’

You can come out from behind the sofa, children
We’ve made the world a better place for you:
We’ve neutralised it, sanitised it, shake-n-vac and sterilised it –

For monsters only ever spoil the view.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

It's my birthday, and I'll xxxx if I want to...

So today's the day I hit the grand old age of 39 (and holding...). Mostly birthdays consist of fairly predictable and well-worn traditions and conventions, such as present-opening, binge drinking and cake eating - enjoyable, true, but hardly unconventional or even individual. It strikes me that on one's birthday certain things should be not only permissable but actively encouraged.
1. The birthday girl or boy should walk around in their birthday suit all day. Everyone else should comment on their beauty, feeling that not having a similar shape body is in some way a personal fault.
2. Johnny Depp (insert name of choice here, obviously) should be your alarm clock for the day, breaking it to you gently that despite it being your birthday, you still have to go to work.
3. All restaurants, attractions, air travel etc should be free - with or without a Blue Peter badge.
4. On pressing the red button now the birthday individual should find a tailor-made evening of entertainment should they find themselves at a loose end. For me this would mean: the Six 0'clock News (read by Johnny Depp); Trinny and Susannah (makeover with Johnny Depp in a 360 degree mirror); House; The West Wing; Don Juan de Marco (starring Johnny Depp); and one of those channel five 'my body seems to have done something peculiar that will gross you out' programmes (preferably involving an unfortunate individual with a highly specialised medical problem that in all other respects looks rather suspiciously like a Mr J Depp).
5. The weather will be perfect, and not at all so stinking hot that it makes everyone smelly and bad-tempered.

...come the revolution, eh? Failing that I had an enjoyable day despite working and despite the weather, probably due in part to my determination to binge-cake eat all day.